In an age of mediocrity, mischief, and mistrust, our tendency, rightly or wrongly, is to assume that anyone breaking away from the pack (whether busting the bell curve, making too much money, or scoring incredibly high in WWF) must surely be cheating.
I have both the iPad and iPhone free apps. I am logged into both with Facebook. A few days ago, I had a game with a user called Shebut4 (something like that) vanish from my list of active games. Just a few minutes ago, I got a warning on both of my devices that I'm about to be automatical. Words With Friends is amongst the most favourite games of mobile players across the globe. The game is similar to the real-life game called Scrabble where one as to build blocks of words. However, many players often complain about Words With Friends crashing. There can be many reasons to why it happens, but you can tackle it effectively. Wiping the application data for words with friends (Settings - Applications - Manage Applications - Words Free - Clear Data), then starting the application again (requiring you to log in since you wiped the data) should refresh your game. As I was typing the above I saw that there's a 'clear cache' button below the 'clear data' button.
After getting my third post on this site from someone condemning or accusing players who posted impressive boards, I decided to see what a regulated Scrabble tournament board looks like. Here is the winning board from the UK Scrabble Championship in 2009.
Now, to the skeptics out there, I issue you this challenge of intellectual honesty: If you were to see these words in a Words With Friends game, would you forthrightly accuse your opponent of cheating?
Analysis of exotic words provided by The Daily Mall here. Keep in mind that Scrabble championships are carried out with strict rules and oversight.
I cannot prove whether or not a WWF player is using outside help. But it falls well within the realm of possibility that in a community of now 3,000+ registered competitors (although, not all playing this month), we are bound to attract a number of players capable of producing a good batch of alien words in a single game. Moreover, the WWF guess and play option means it’s even easier to find these words.
Better, I think, to leave unstated any suspicion in the absence of incontrovertible evidence of cheating.
I’m going to be brutally honest here. Sometimes, “friends” turn out to not be “friends” after all. But you find that “friends” are disappearing on repeat in your life, then there’s probably something going on with you that they were too chicken to tell you about face-to-face. Here’s the real reasons people put distance between themselves and their good ole’ “friend.”
Why Your Friends Disappear
Also called Friendship Rejection or Friend Ghosting or Cutoffs. It’s a real thing and it’s not fun. Let’s explore possible reasons why your friends disappear and what you can do about it. But first, I’m going to ask you to bookmark this page until you get home, put on your comfy pjs, grab a box of tissues and a refreshing beverage, and brace yourself for some very real and emotional stuff.
First…
Show Grace
I’m going to ask you to have a little grace with your distant “friend.” Facing someone you care about and telling them in truth and in love that they have a problem, isn’t easy to do. Most of us don’t. Rather than do it, we tend to distance ourselves. Instead of saying they chose the easy way out, let’s agree that they procrastinated on dealing with something hard. We’ve all certainly put off things that were difficult. So let’s show them a little grace, for now anyway.
Alright! Are you ready? Let’s do this!
1. Self-Destructive Behavior
There’s something that you’re doing as a pattern that they believe is self-destructive and they are tired of watching it and don’t want to enable you in it. Perhaps there’s something that you’re struggling with and you’ve failed to make any kind of effort to resolve it. They watch you suffer with it over and over. And they’re also watching you make no effort to get yourself out. It’s hard for them to watch and they can’t do it anymore. So rather than face you about it, they are distancing themselves. Perhaps they used to offer the help you needed to continue down the road you’re on and they don’t want to participate anymore.
What to do about it: If friendship losing isn’t the only cycle you’re finding yourself trapped in, maybe it’s time to figure out why you haven’t stopped the cycle. Maybe you don’t know where to begin, you’re afraid of failure or outcomes or you didn’t even notice you were in a cycle. It could be anything from poor spending behavior, abusive relationships you remain trapped in, recklessness, poor time management, or whatever seems to be causing you to continue hurting yourself.
2. Poor Treatment of Others
They think you treat other people badly, it embarrasses them or upsets them and they don’t want to be around it or expose their family to it.
What to do about it: Self-examine. Do you have a temper? Do harsh words slip through your lips often? Are you generally angry, disappointed, or bitter? If so, get to the bottom of why and come up with a plan to work on it.
3. You’re Too Close (aka Needy)
Sometimes there’s a perceived disrespect of their time, resources or space. The boundaries are a little too close for comfort and instead of telling you that, they purposely put distance between you.
What to do about it: Look for friends who enjoy the same activities as you do and who are able to do them at the same time of the week. Or simply back off and give them space. Let’s analyze the situation. Are you really contacting them a lot? Is it too much? If so, where does this need come from? Let’s get to the bottom of it and resolve it. Do some self reflection. Seek counseling if you think you need it.
4. Negative Outlook
You’re a real drag. Maybe you complain a lot or you fail to see the good in your life. Either way, when you’re outlook is negative, it’s hard for your mood not to rub off on them. Once in a while is okay, but every interaction should not be a negative one.
What to do about it: Self-reflection, are you a negative person? Where does this negativity stem from? Do you need to change your thought patterns and view life through a joyful lens?
5. Your Values Don’t Match Theirs
For better or for worse, sometimes we just don’t agree on important stuff. Maybe you talk about Bible Study too much (like that would really happen), you like fancy stuff, you curse a lot, you’re a democrat, you’re a republican or you root for the wrong team. Whatever it is they think you put too much emphasis on things that make them uncomfortable or unhappy.
What to do about it: Once you determine that you’re okay with yourself the way you are, then be yourself and let them go. If you can’t figure out what it is, then ask them (“Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a while. Are you okay? Did I do something?”).
*** This book talks about discovering yourself which many say is the first step to discovering God. If you use this link to make a purchase from Amazon, you support me so I can keep writing posts like this.
Thank you! You Rock!
6. There’s Something Going on With Them
Maybe it’s not you with a deeper issue, perhaps they are angry, bitter, hurt, afraid, or otherwise dealing (or not dealing) with something in their life or their past. They might be taking it out on you in some way or avoiding contact with people to avoid whatever it is they are hurting from. Or they might be jealous of you or feel threatened by you in some way because of whatever issue they have.
What to do about it: Do you think they’ll listen to you? If they’ve distanced themselves, then there’s a good chance they won’t. In which case, you probably have to give them their space. You can send them a message that you’re thinking about them and worried and see how they respond. Always approach them from a place of love and concern. If they don’t respond, then give them their space.
7. It’s Nothing Personal
In this case, there’s really nothing that you did to send them running. Perhaps your both busy, have different schedules, and you’re not making time to foster the relationship. It could be a mutual neglect of the friendship.
What to do about it: Invite them back into your life. It could start with a simple text message letting them know you’re thinking of them. See if they respond. If they do, follow it up with a phone call to check in and catch up. If that leads to a nice conversation, then follow that up by saying you’d like to get together for coffee, a play date, brunch (whatever ya’ll are into). In a few more days reach out with possible dates and times and solidify the plans.
Pinpoint the Cause & Take Action
Why Do My Words With Friends Games Keep Disappearing
There’s not much you can do until you pinpoint what’s causing the pattern. Did any of my reasons strike a nerve with you? Could you approach any of those old friends and ask them? You have to be able to approach them without getting emotional while letting them know that you truly want to get to the bottom of what happened so you can make necessary changes.
At any rate, I’m so sorry that this is an issue for you. It can be truly heartbreaking. Let me take a moment to remind you that pain is temporary and if you are deeply upset over this, I hope you’ll find someone to turn to who can help you work through it.
Live Joyfully,
My Words Friends Games Keep Disappearing App
Angela
P.S. If you liked this post, you might also like How to Love Yourself.